Anyone who chooses to blend two families is on a mission to have a healthy, happy, fulfilling family life experience. That’s WHY you choose to become partners in your relationship. The ways that you go about creating and maintaining fulfillment may be with effective, tried and true strategies for success, or may be based in patterns and beliefs from the past, and not based in what really works. How you actively blend your families comes from each of your beliefs about the best ways to be parents and partners.
When a person decides to start his or her own business, he or she makes a huge commitment of time, energy and money towards that business’ success. Experts recommend that you start off the formulation of your business by creating a strong, powerful mission statement for your business. The more that mission statement resonates with your core values and what matters most to you in the world, the more likely your business will succeed. Once your mission is clear, the next step is to clarify your VISION – the ways in which you will successfully bring your mission into the world through your business.
A businesswoman with a clear mission to, say, promote world peace with antiviolence education and materials would not succeed if she chose to open a gun shop and sell weapons. She would be approaching their mission from a place that is counterproductive and at odds with her values. Sounds silly, but many families do this very thing. People blend their families with the mission of having a peaceful and loving home, and they end up attacking each other with sarcasm, accusations, blame and shame. They want to have fulfillment and they focus on everything that’s wrong in the home, what needs to be changed, and where they are most unhappy.
By having a clear vision that supports your overall mission as a family, your likelihood of success greatly increases. If your mission is to truly have a peaceful, loving home, then your vision could be to: practice active gratitude towards each member of the family at least 5 times a day; show outward, genuine affection to every member of your family at least 3 times a day; say thank you and please as a regular habit to everyone in the family for even the littlest things; etc.
By knowing your vision and acting from it daily, you will experience true fulfillment in your family.
What is your Mission? What is your Vision? What is your partner’s Mission? What is your partner’s Vision? Do you know? If you don’t – that’s the place to start! Once you discover your joint mission for your family, then have fun exploring ways to “DO” you vision in your family. Come up with a clear and straightforward vision plan that you can begin to support each other in implementing in your home. For example, if you want more peace, and anger is an issue in your home, part of your vision could be to explore some anger-management programs. If you want more peace, and the defiance of the children is an issue, you might want to study and bring some proven parenting techniques into the home. You get the idea.
If you are having trouble with this exercise, you are welcome to contact me and schedule a coaching session to get the clarity you seek.